- Breakfast: what a great start, thank fuck I don't have to start the day in a panic, now I know I have what I need to not have to hold onto anything that comes my way, and I can start focusing on functioning properly
- Snack: alright, thanks a lot, I'm glad I trusted you. Another snack came my way and I was able to continue giving you the best possible energy I can deliver
- Lunch: gee I needed this, I've been working for a while and need to maintain my hard work. Thanks for feeding me, I'll be able to carry on
- Snack: thank you dear
- Dinner: hell fucking yeah fish and chips how did you know that's exactly the amount of protein and carbs and fat I needed. Oh? You listened to your cravings? Great! we're really close he always knows what I need
- Snack: I'm getting tired but I'm going to have to keep working whilst you sleep, so you still need to fuel me. Until the morning old chum!
Treatment has been limited in the past few months because I have progressed into recovery further than ever before. Twice a week has become every other week, and I have been greatful. The voices of deamons have become whispers, and I have gained the ability to make them mute in most instances. However, a month ago I went on vacation and with that came the realization I still look to others to validate progress. I found myself asking, “do I look okay?” “are you sure?” “Do I look healthy?” This didn’t seem like a big deal until I realized I wasnt getting the validation I was seeking, and my recovery progress became stunted. Soon my team was asking me when i thought they should start to be concerned about my health. This MUST stop! I need to work on believing I am beautiful and loving myself without seeking external agreement. I AM BEAUTIFUL! No doubt about it. I have a heart that can hold unlimited love for the people in my life. I have a smile that can brighten someone’s day. No one can tell you a number at which your beauty will be realized. Instead of basing your value on a number you see on the scale or what your doctors tell you is your “ideal weight” believe that at this moment you are amazingly beautiful, and that fact will not wavor in its truth if you gain or drop a few pounds.
-My bf is on his way to my dad’s house for easter
-The fact that holidays don’t scare me anymore!!!